Half-Way Mark

So, my trip is already halfway over. This is so sad to me! I feel like it's been a wonderful and fulfilling two weeks, but I want more, more, more. I know that "more, more, more" is certainly what I'm going to get what with our packed schedule, but still, I am just getting comfortable here. Alas, the second half will be even better than the first.

Here are my photo mini-stories. I am finding they're the most fun way to tell you about my trip.

Cafe Louvre is a favorite amongst my classmates. Apparently, famous folk like Kafka and Einstein came here, but we just like it because the food is relatively cheap, they speak English and it's pretty delicious.

How I want my retirement to look like.

Wrote a blog post on this on my other blog. The photo speaks for itself.

You guys. The parks must be my favorite thing here. They are, and I mean this literally, almost magical. I feel like I'm in a fairytale when I walk through them. They are gorgeous and forest-like and incredible. There are these cottonwood trees or something that are...what? Shedding? This means it looks like it's snowing, and everyone is out and about and happy with their beer and children and families and rollerblades and kissing and friends and dogs and basically all things that make the world an easier place to live in.

Good god, the dogs here are so weird. I mean, they're normal, but they're extremely well-behaved. Maybe it's because I work at a shelter, but it's very, very weird to me. I mean, it's great, but it's strange. They walk off leashes and don't jump on you when you walk by or bark at other dogs.... It's so weird. But it gives me hope for training a dog in the future when I have two Great Danes.

Our walk to class sort of through the park. Very different than UT...

Another park scene

So, that's my favorite stuff that I've been up to. MISS YOU ALL.

Thanks to my parents for this trip!

Close But Not Close, Far But Not Too Far Away

Things are improving. They weren't bad per say, but they were a little gloomy. As some of you know, the sky here was pouring down on us so much so that Prague started flooding, and the entire city was put on some sort of High Alert. It was all over the news. My mother was probably panicking, bless her. It wasn't actually that bad, but we couldn't go out as much (we weren't really allowed to one day) despite desperately wanting to get out of the apartments. On the times that we did go out, it was so depressing. Between the constant rain and grey and humidity, being outside wasn't all that great anyway. 

However, we have put that all behind us now. I am laying in bed by an open window waiting for some classmates to come back from a run (I could've gone, I suppose), and the sky is bright blue and the air is fresh. And and and I don't really remember what rain looks like today. I hate rain.

I really like this post from my other blog. You should read it. It has lots of feelings and some facts in it. http://lanabaumgartner.wordpress.com/2013/06/04/s-e-x/

Tomorrow, we start day long adventures and I am excited for those. I love the leisurely days (okay I sort of don't love them, but I accept their existence), but I'm ready to be busy and see new things and learn much. I have found how much I love my days to be filled to the brim with experience. I have been told I am bad at relaxing, and maybe that's true, but I love learning and being challenged by people and places so much more. Re-reading that, I'm pretty sure that's news only to me and all of you are like "duh Lana, we could've told you that about yourself eight years ago."Ah well!


Here are my favorite photos (the first three are not very good) since the last post.

THE FLOOD! That's a street sign and a swan.

Looking at the flooding from the park railing. His facial expression pretty much sums it up.

He caught me. Awkward. 

This is pretty shameful. On one of the horrible rainy days, we were walking around, drowning really, and saw a mall. Then, we went inside the mall. And it was like bathing in hot chocolate. The mall was warm and had soothing colors, and I never thought I'd be so happy to be in a mall, but I'm telling you, the rain was horrible. It was like a reverse oasis.

I wrote a blog post about this photo that I was pretty genuine about. That sounds weird, but you know what I mean maybe. This was during a moments break from the rain on the same day as the mall. Everyone is looking up at the astronomical clock (once upon a time, it was one of the 7 wonders of the world), and they were all so freakin' happy to be there. I, on the other hand, was whiney and miserable and missing Barton Springs (drenched in freezing water by choice), and then I found these people. They were just happy to be in Prague at all. It was very humbling.

Random photos unrelated to the flooding:

Ooh-la-la the love locks bridge of Prague

Buy my sweet metal jewelry?

Thanks to my parents for this trip!

Lan

This Leftover Lighthouse

Some photos here. Yesterday, we went to the "King's Parade" up near the famous Prague castle. It was so fun. I started out in a terrible mood -- I was hungry (explanation enough?), tired, confused etc etc -- but once I ran (jogged-ish) up a fifty mile hill to the castle, the endorphins kicked in and I was good to go. We spent the evening running after the parade down the hill (the same one I ran up) with our cameras. It was hilarious and a blast. Dennis, our professor and magical fearless leader, is desperate for us to get up and close with people when we photograph them, so I was essentially part of the parade. In fact, I was so close I got swatted with a tiny horse whip to move to the side. Liz got butt swats from fake swords. It was a win for all of us. 

These crazy people are Liz and Dennis. Dennis, like I said above, is our professor. He is incredible, sassy and hilarious. We could not be happier to have him. We currently have a list going of the absurd things he says that will make up my last post of my academic blog paired with as many creeeper photos of him (like this) that we can get. Liz is the girl fearing for her life behind Dennis. She is also incredible, sassy and hilarious. She is also one of my most favorite fellow Praguers. 

Thanks to my parents for this trip!

Lan

Prague Round 1

I'm in Prague. I just smiled saying that. My experience here so far is quite lovely. I just smiled again.

:)

It's hard to say what we've been doing exactly. We have been doing a lot though. This is for sure. Mostly, it's been walking around, exploring and taking it all in. This has been the best introduction, the seemingly aimless wandering. At first, I was frustrated at not always looking at a map, but looking back, it really helped provide the dazzle effect. It seems there is an endless amount of beauty and culture to take in. By not being able to comprehend the bounds, the beauty seems boundless. Like I said, dazzling.

Photo-taking has been really fun, but also difficult. It's hard to feel like I'm getting an original photo since this is such a touristy place, but that's part of the challenge I suppose. That being said, I must say that I'm trying hard to also take the time to really look at Prague through my eyes and not just through a lens. It's so easy to get caught up with the calculations of making what you see into a decent enough photograph that you stop looking at things as a whole. I know that all perspectives have their value; I just want to find the balance.

Speaking of photos, here are some of mine thus far:

Odd

Strawberries for pups.

Selfie on dat bridge.

"FARE YOU WELL I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN TELL"
The Lennon wall. I loved this. Victoria and I took couple photos in front of this line.
Sorry, Santiago.

PDA is big thing here. It's common to see couples cuddling, kissing or holding hands.
Most of us find this disturbing, but I like it. I don't mean I enjoy it or whatever, I just think it's sweet and genuine.
In a place where the citizens are stereotyped as cold and mean,
seeing kindness and affection is reassuring and seems even sweeter than your average frat party PDA.

This is from the Museum of Communism.
It was so frustrating and difficult to photograph here because of boring subjects and inadequate lighting.
However.
I was really pushed to try and ended up getting some of my most unique photos yet.

Museum of Communism again.

We took a photo field trip to Olsany Cemetery a few days ago. I am grouping those photos together so you have the best chance of getting a feel for how peaceful and calm I felt there. I spent the first half of my time photographing but then was overcome with the beauty of the place and stopped to sit, look around and journal. And breathe. The air was crisp and cleansing. This pause was also metaphorical. I've described myself this past semester as going a hundred miles per hour and finally I am able to slow down here. I've been feeling really sick, but in a way it's good, because I sleep a lot and take it easy and only do what I want to do instead of what I feel like I should be doing. It's just been really great here so far. Anyway, here are my cemetery photos.

More soon. I miss you guys!

Thank you to my parents for this trip!

Lan

Shakey Graves Built to Roam

First off, I'm tired (remember this, this ties in later in the story), so my writing is probably..... a little too much voice (too frank, too ridiculous, too.... well, Lana) a little too little grammar (also very Lan). Pardon my mistakes, please! Also, the whole Blogger website is in German, so that's fun (confusing)!

ALSO, if I am saying or doing something utterly ridiculous (like posting selfies to my blog that adults I respect read), I am most likely joking. Always assume I'm joking (please).

Anyway.

So, I'm sitting here in the Frankfurt airport when really I should've landed in Prague about... ten minutes ago? "Huh?" You ask? Well, yes, what I mean to say is I did not make the plane to Prague. However, before you pity me, you should hear what happened and pity everyone who has to associate with me. I was sitting by my gate, watching people board and waiting my turn, and I just fell asleep (remember me saying I'm tired). Yup. I fell asleep. The best part is that an alarm went off (completely random, unrelated alarm -- total coincidence) ten minutes before my plane departed and I woke up, turned it off in annoyance at such a stupid, random alarm, and went back to sleep. I saw the time and just went back to sleep. SO STUPID. I AM SO STUPID.

But. It's all good. After being "kindly" told that I probably delayed the plane (which I do feel bad about) and then waiting in line while some travelin' bro flirted with the travel agent, I am here at gate A10 with an espresso (three people told me I looked exhausted, so yeah), a sandwich and I'm sitting by people speaking Arabic. There's also a bratty and witty twelve year old sassing her parents, which I love. I am in a happy place, and I am just thankful that I am still ON MY WAY! Not to mention, two people from my program will be on the flight with me! What a great surprise for them! I am keeping my eyes peeled for their arrival to our gate (they have no idea who I am).

But, let's talk Paris. I had a really pleasant time in Paris. 

Highlights: 

Eating a nutella crepe one time with Jas and another time with Jordan (this is most important)

Seeing Murphy and Jordan. We were able to meet up for an evening, and it was so cool. Of course, there are selfies to prove it. Seeing them really put the spring back in my step. I was exhausted and overwhelmed from traveling alone and being alone in Paris but surrounded by non-Enlighs speakers, so seeing them was so comforting. I also went to dinner with them and kids from their program, which was so delightful. I love meeting friends of friends, because I know that the most exciting thing to share with a friend is another friend. Just as they had told me, there were many funny, smart and enjoyable people on their program. Not to mention, MOROCCAN FOOD. 

Of course, Jas and I had a wonderful time together.

We had to selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower!

Just me representing my university.

Jas crawled into a hole

And still managed to look pretty.



I saw a lot of beautiful things and did a lot of things that you just should do when visiting Paris, but I won't focus on those except for one thing. Jas and I visited the Paris Mosque. This was a very emotional experience for me. It smelled and looked and felt like the Middle East, which was comforting and saddening. I miss my family in Syria, but am trying to just be thankful that they are safe and going about their lives as much as they can. I am grateful for my time at the Mosque, because it brought me a little closer to that part of myself and my family. 

Thank you to my parents for giving me this trip!

More soon,

Lan

Europe Trip Day 1: Traveling to Paris

Well, well, hello. As some of you might know, I took a little Oddities break during my dance (okay struggle) with the McCombs School of Business, but that's over now. I've plucked myself out of the dark and twisty pity party that some call a business major, and I'm back! We are going to be a little less emo a little more spunk now. Maybe I stopped posting because I was making myself sad with only being able to produce sad and frustated-sounding things. Anyway, we've moved on to bigger and better things!

It wasn't all bad, of course. I got some pretty splendid photos out of the year and, more importantly, some amazing new friends. I managed the feat of combining these two things by taking photos of the friends in a fancy little Facebook album I called "Wise Fools." The name comes from a time when I heard that, and who knows if this is true, "Sophomores" can be loosely translated to "Wise Fools" (in… Latin? I just dunno) which is spot on and way more eloquent than what I would've called it ("The Fabulous and Ridiculous" or simply "Smart-Ass Stupidheads"). I'm lucky to have them by my side as we enter our own roaring twenties. 

I've relaunched Oddities for the purpose of updating all of you on my Europe trip happenings. I know, I know, but I have to write 400 words a day for another blog -- das just too much for us to read, you say?! Well, you can pick one. On that blog (lanabaumgartner.wordpress.com), I will talk the more academic talk, but here, I will tell you the funnier, gushier tales and thoughts. I will grace you with stories of my mistakes and, cue the Mary Bryce in all of us, growth. I will mayhaps include my photos here, too. We will see. Some of the things you will see:

-Reasons why I cried

-Embarrassing thing I did to offend that old Czech women

-My attempts and fails to join the gypsy parade

-Why the bone church was cool

-My advances towards joining Dr. Darling's cute family

-etc etc

Can't wait! Hope all is well with you and you and you.

Lan

Float. Pacific Air.

The Universe will give you only a handful of chances to walk away. 

You see, we find ourselves in regret a lot. And, if it's not regret, we at least find ourselves in mistakes a lot. We get so wrapped up in something that, ten miles in, we look around and say, "shit. How did this happen? Where am I?" We run marathons to places we have never been or we make one error in judgement and it becomes one big bad habit and then we are stuck there… even if only for a little bit, we are stuck and have to find our way back. 

However.

There are rare moments where the Universe, in its own way, lets you turn back the clock and walk away before you've even started the marathon or habit. Of course, the turning back of time happens theoretically: you know exactly what's going to happen and you're about to let it happen, are already imagining it to have happened, but then something out of your hands causes you to pause. It might even be something small. Maybe your shoe gets untied, you hit a red light, the person you were looking for isn't where you expected, whatever it is, it gives you the few seconds you need to stop, take a deep breath, straighten up and then… walk away. You know better, and you walk away.

If this happens to you, if the Universe gives you a moment to really consider what you're about to break, take it and walk away. These moments rarely happen, and they are a gift worth thanking your lucky stars for. 

With Your Ear Against the Earth

"When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how.'"
-Viktor Frankl

This really annoying thing has been happening to me lately where, as I fall asleep, I think of relatively deep shit that I'd really love to think about during my Waking Life only to wake up and have no idea what in god's name it was. I am a bit concerned that I am my most thoughtful while I'm half-unconscious, but alas, whatevs. 

However, last night, I was prepared for this bullshit and had my cellular phone at the ready to take notes. And take notes I did. I thought about identity. It occurred to me that if and when you choose to identify as something, no one can take that thing away from you. When you identify with/as something, you are committing to the idea that that something is intrinsic to who you are. That even if you wanted to not be that thing, you'd have to keep being it anyway. I mean, okay. Can you imagine how much happier everyone would be if they identified as "lovable?" That would mean that even when someone is mean to you, you can say "well I know I'm lovable, so they're just wrong." Or if everyone identified as "beautiful?" That would mean so much. Every person could look at the millions of reminders of the "standard of beauty" (which obviously is stupid) and say to themselves, "well, I don't look like that, so there simply must be more than one way to be beautiful." The possibilities are endless.

Scrambled Begs

 Something I have learned as I've been striving to become an adult (see: College) is that life is complicated. Everything is complicated. Good things can come out of bad things and there is like an infinite amount of sides to a story and things can suck for no reason. This is incredibly complicated.

I am a strong person. This I have reclaimed.

There are many different ways to love someone. And whether it's because it's just hard or because I am only 19 years of age, it's hard to tell in what way you love someone.
This miscalculation, the uncertainty in knowing how exactly, which way exactly you love someone can hurt them. How complicated is that?

I don't know if you've heard, but I am the luckiest person in the world. One time I was told not to use the word "lucky" but to use the word "fortunate," but I didn't like that. "Fortunate" implies that you earned it. I don't like this idea because that means I could at some point for some reason stop deserving and thus stop having the wonderful things in my life that I have… I don't want to be deserted by these wonderful people and wonderful things in my weakest, most undeserving moments. No thanks.

It is a gift to have something worth mourning the loss of. Every time as of late that I have mourned, I have simultaneously thanked the cosmos. You have worthwhile things in your life if you would mourn their loss. Remember this and thank your lucky stars.

We should be kinder to ourselves. There is productivity and kindness in letting ourselves feel our feelings. It's scary, I get that, but we are imperfect and will have scary feelings sometimes, but can you tell me that bullying yourself for having scary feelings helps? Ride it all out. More than that, we are not cut out to feel stress and anguish forever. We are literally not wired to feel this permanently. Ride it out and then when it's over, if even for a little bit, appreciate every tingle of happiness. This is what feeling alive feels like.

Life is a good place. Happiness and gratefulness are good states of minds. We are so lucky. If you are reading this, I've probably thanked my lucky stars and the cosmos for you. BLAH!