All Safe and Sound

Being indispensable. That, my tired and worn brothers and sisters, is what we're all worried about. Hot damn. No wonder we're all a mess with our mirrors and grades and socializing beyond human capacity. We want to be wanted and missed and needed. We want to know that if we were to disappear, it would matter.

Well. On that note, you should probably tell the people that are indispensable to you that they are indispensable to you. A lot of people don't know that about themselves. Isn't that sad?

Oh, and chances are, you're a lot more indispensable than you think.

Have a freakin' unforgettable day.

The Last of Syria

Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my ma and pa.

Here is a chunk of my journal entry about my thoughts on the 2010 trip to Syria-

There is comfort in night, in mealtimes with other people, in understanding, in community, in laughter, in common interests, in music, in harmless mischief, in family. Family. How strange it is to have a family. People I would not otherwise have known had I not been related to them. I honestly see family as a group of random people bonded together no matter what. And I've come to believe that through the practice of Family (being forced to love a random group of people) we learn to take the time to find the lovable qualities in anyone, the way we had to with our family. Huh. What wonderful people, these people.

Blogging Abroad

So, as some of you may know, I am jetting off to Syria to visit family in about 6 days! I hope to continue blogging there (and if I'm lucky it'll be about every day) so I can do a couple of things- one, record my thoughts, feelings and happenings and two, keep my friends updated on what I'm up to while I'm half-way across the globe. My mother, brother and I are going for about 3 weeks to Syria and then, Ryan (the brother) and I are flying back solo but making a quick 4-day stop in Paris to meet up with my dad and do some relaxing in the form of eating and shopping.
I know I should be stoked about traveling and seeing family but in reality, I'm nervous as heck. I realized today that my biggest fear is the language barrier. I can understand Arabic really well but I have a lot of trouble speaking it. However, I also realized that that's a silly thing to be worried about! What better a place for me to better my language skills than Syria with my family, a group of people who want to help me? While I'll miss my friends a lot, I'll still be e-mailing them and it's not for too long anyway! Culturally, it'll be amazing. I've been to Syria before but the last time we went was 3 years ago; my incoming-freshman-self didn't exactly have the greatest appreciation for new and different things the way I do now. For those of you who haven't heard me talk about Damascus, it's very much like New York- busy, loud, and full of life! Honestly, I love it.

I'm pretty sure all the green lights are mosques; the mosques and old buildings here are beautiful. Speaking of old buildings, one of my favorite areas is "Old Damascus". "Old Damascus" is the term used for the area in the center of the city in which all the old homes have been maintained and many of them have been turned into popular restaurants. In fact, my uncle owns a restaurant there; the house was my great-grandfather's. When you walk through that area you feel like you are connected with everyone else who has ever been there; it's a strange feeling but one that I've always loved. Interestingly enough, there's even a story in the bible that takes place in "Old Damascus".

This is hilarious. I went to find a picture from Google of a restaurant in Damascus and this was the first option. Like an idiot, I didn't even notice that this is my family's restaurant, Beit Jabri! I glanced down at the site and saw that it was a (might I add, good) review for the restaurant. It's not a fantastic picture but it still represents a typical Old Town restaurant. Plus, I've gone swimming in that fountain about a dozen times. Aaaaand that's my uncle at his usual corner table smoking a huka... I love my family :)

The Souk! The Souk is the outdoor market. This is a spice shop and surprisingly enough, this is the average size of a spice shop! I like to think arabic food is very sassy, very healthy and always made with love.

tired

I have school and activities and responsibilities and expectations and a future to worry about and I'm tired. I'm not complaining about it, I'm not having a melt-down or a panic attack; I'm just saying that I'm tired. But what is going to change? There is nothing I can do to make it, what is demanded from me, any different. And ignoring it definitely is not going to help, that will only make things worse. Even when I'm given a week long break to relax, the world shoves college visits and financial aid discussions and pressure to fit in some bonus community service hours down my throat. A vacation trip to Austin is an underlying attempt by my parents to make me consider UT; is this what "relaxation" means now? I know I have the easy life, and I'm not self-pitying; I am lucky, beyond lucky. I am not complaining, not even stressed or in need of a hug. I'm just sighing and brushing the hair out of my eyes, a little melancholy and pensive, and tired. Always tired.

Cardio-workout

Homeless people. I like them. Everything they have is real.